Instead of fucking preface: There is a game: enter carefully To lure the attention of people; And with the eyes of prey to find; And follow her imperceptibly. No matter how nechutok and rude The person being watched - He will feel the gaze Though in the corners of barely quivering lips. And the other one will understand right away: Shudder shoulders, his hand; Turn around - and there is nothing; Meanwhile, anxiety is growing. That invisible look is terrible, That it can not be caught; You feel, but you can not understand Whose eyes are watching you. Not self-interest, not love, not revenge; So - the game is like a game for children: And in the congregation of every people These secret detectives are there. You yourself sometimes do not understand Why it happens sometimes What will you come to people, And you leave from people - not by yourself. There is a bad and good eye, Only it would be better if nobody watched: Too much in all of us. Unknown playing forces ... Oh, longing! After a thousand years We can’t measure souls: We will hear the flight of all the planets, Thunder peals in silence ... For now - live in the unknown And we do not know our strength, And, like children, playing with fire, We burn ourselves and others ... Block.

A bunch of andrenaline in the blood, and complete silence inside, I sit and pretend that I do not expect anything. For a long time I was almost immersed in looking at the letters on the computer.

Call, madam, one glance is enough to understand - the apartment is clean. Leads girls, one slim with long blond hair and a gaze that says nothing. Although what is there, I have already seen this stupid look a thousand times, when a person is no longer interested in everything. You want to run away from such people, they are terrible people, so it can extinguish anything, bring the atmosphere to zero and cannot do anything.

The second one is a bit thicker, with black short hair, a dressy sundress and black eyes, and a cheerful look.

- What's your name?

- Lena?

- Okie, let it be Lena.

Five minutes toggle, Money, door, lock mark on the clock - an hour later.

Heh, well, here it is, affordable enough to reach the end today. She smiles looking at me, and waiting, what will happen?

I do not care, I do not feel andrenalina, there is no longer that confusion. There is only the expectation of a strike, when the two iron boats collide and bounce off each other in order to come together again and already fix themselves in order to become one.

I'm just trying to become it, play by its rules, making my own contribution, repelling it.

- Well, say a hundred, tell me about yourself.

- What to say then? - each of its sound makes this magical rapprochement closer and closer.

Sit down, no better get up, let me undress you. In my opinion there is not a drop of eroticism, except that children's curiosity to see this is what a woman’s body, which is inaccessible in everyday life.

This sundress has only one zipper on the side, it falls down already unnecessary skinned. I unfold it like candy!

There is nothing under him, she stands in some stockings with socks and panties. She smiled at me, a shy smile (although none of us would call her that way then), as if asking, how do you like me?

I smiled back at her - very much. Touch them, clasping them with their hands slightly squeezed. A little predatory smile, it seemed to me that she was mine, she knew that I was hers. Not words and thoughts, but only the shadows of emotions, the fast weavers that we ourselves barely catch them, rushed across me and I think she too. It is in the books that the writer, sitting in a warm, cozy chair, chews the slightest movement of his soul and heart, turning a barely noticeable wobble into a luxurious dance of passions and feelings.

I sat her on the bed, as with a small child took horse, pantyhose, and finally panties. Her shaved slit touched me, she is so neat.

Now you me, it's terrible to let yourself be undressed by another person, after you are used to being alone, do everything yourself and appreciate being alone.Something that was in Rambo, who was afraid of touching after his captivity. This feeling of inconvenience constrains movement, indicating fear, perhaps inside she smiles again. Her movements are gentle and neat, now I feel like a child in her arms.

I ask her to lie down on the bed to look at her. Will I turn off the light? Why, I like to look at her. Hmm, most likely at this moment I was already deaf in the outside world, I was interested in her body. I did not feel my own at all. Too much tension on the threshold made him insensitive.

Examine her body, forcing you to blush from stupid questions, how cute and how fun it is to play trembling and naive, and not experienced and aggressive.

Just lie down and find peace, which was so waiting for I do not even know what to expect it was him. Kodga hands inspect the body without any reaction from her.

Usually in this place the hero-lover uncovers his mighty tongue bringing the girl to orgasm, but from me a poor satisfactor. I'm not going to achieve what none of us expect, I enjoy the situation as it is.

Her mouth, at my request, swallows my dick, as if something warm and elastic is one of my flesh. I follow her actions with interest, relying on her experience, which is actually absent, it is replaced by novelty of sensations.

Then unhurried attempts to achieve copulation, she pitied me for my helplessness, at the same time feeling my strength above me and awareness.

Her stories are about themselves, lips kissing my body. Her chest and rustling sheets. My fingers felt her body over and over again, probably until I die, I will remember the feeling of her legs in my hand.

I did not feel embarrassed - it was enough for me, later I would be able to step aside to look critically and correct my mistakes, now I was interested in learning as much as possible of the new. I was not tormented by complexes, only the feeling of her and her body.

We smiled sweetly at each other’s eyes, seeing our touches in someone else’s gaze, in those smiles was the love of those who know each other and the share of the smile of a poker player who doesn’t give to see his cards. She did not know how to remain silent, she could not be commanded, only corrected and manipulated, she was funny in her uncontrollability.

When the time came and her work was over, the usual thoughts returned, her glance at the clock.

And mutual regret for the openness that was released from under control.

My cynicism and its habitual mask.

That's all, so I stopped being a virgin.

No cool rapes of a neighbor’s mother or teacher. No romantic dates and other stuff - they are only in the cinema, and I am not created for these games in the coolest men and women.

I'm different. When the thread I can find, the one with which I could stay forever.

Novosib 2000