The commander of the company Ponkin, a plump, bald captain, loved to tell all sorts of stories from the lives of his subordinates and, I must admit, very entertaining.

The newly arrived young soldiers were wound up in a Leninist corner. The captain about five minutes acquainted with the combat history of the unit, then smoothly proceeded to the most burning topic - the sexual life of warriors. Especially amused two stories.

The first is about a goat that was caught by eight soldiers, raped to insensitivity, and planted by the owner. The poor guy spent a whole year going to the bosses, losing all hope, drove the unfortunate out into the street. The second story is about other animals, it should be recounted in more detail, it is worth it.

“In our subsidiary farm,” Ponkin narrated with gusto, “Private Sidorenko was watching the piglets. Diligent, modest, kept a good household and it has become in the best part. High ranks came to see and share experiences.

One day, with a check in the profits, the colonel and the major, and after all, they deigned to look at the piglets. And I led them, filled with pride.

Near the barn, we heard a suspicious noise, a knock and an unimaginable squeal. We hurried and opened the door. And how do you think we saw? Our flawless Sidorenko smashed a drunk, half-naked, without pants, running around with a screaming sow with such a boldness with the clear intention to copulate. While we were thinking, the soldier deftly pushed her into the nook and fell on her. He was stopped by the colonel's luminous team: “Stop raping!” Sidorenko suddenly recovered and took up the stand “quietly” ...

Sidorenko served five days for drunkenness, and I had to work hard, especially in the canteen of the unit. I went there on business and went to lunch. So the officers categorically refused to eat borscht and demanded evidence from the chef that the pieces of bacon floating in the borscht were not from the pig that the subordinates had fucked. And the inspectors of my unit with irony asked: "Well, what, captain, will you show sex today?"

... And so, the bath day was chosen by the captain's wife. Before dinner, they rubbed the floors, changed the beds, and received from the ensigns a washed-up underwear. After lunch, walked to the city bath. Single-storey, brick, very old, with two compartments. The captain with his wife and daughter were transported on the "gaziche".

A wonderful trick in the bathhouse was that after the steam room it was possible to go to the vestibule: get some fresh air and cool it down. In the same vestibule there was a door leading to the general hall of the women's section. It was forever closed, but interestingly, wooden, so there was a couple of trivia to make a hole in it.

After ten minutes of washing from the gangs, the soldiers hurried, passing the steam room, to the cherished door, and they queued up near the opening. Each contemplating feminine charms was given five minutes, but there were temperamental, which had to be torn off from the spectacle.

On this ill-fated day, Vitya Vorobyev was “sticking” to the door, heavy and clumsy. He didn’t react to the exhortations and threats, he had five strong soldiers to lean on him, a bunch of small ones were formed. And since the door was old, then, creaking a little, fell off the box and fell into the women's section. By inertia, a group of soldiers followed into the thick of female bodies.

Turmoil, indescribable cry, everything that was in the gang, poured on the heads of the soldiers, and the poor people tried to wriggle out of the shooters.

The reaction of the fright of the women passed in a minute, in some of them the eyes gleamed at the sight of the soldiers' bayonets, and instead of mutating the men, on the contrary, they replaced anger with mercy. And one shamelessly about forty years old, but retaining the figure, grabbed Vorobyov for manhood, pulled him to her, lay down on the bench, spread her legs, opened all the beauty in front of him. There were other hungry people who followed the example of the unscrupulous.The soldiers mostly did not resist, and in one instant the bath turned into a den, where priests and breasts flashed, moans were heard, smacking.

A small problem occurred with Sasha Novikov. A tall, handsome sergeant liked all women in the garrison, but Ponkin’s wife and her daughter, about twenty years old, had the exclusive right to him, as lush as her mother.

In the beginning, Vika timidly approached Sasha, hugged him, and when he kissed, the girl jumped on his hips, at once sighed and vigorously pushed her wonderful booty.

How was it to know Vika, that she is not one beloved of a sergeant and his powerful member served her mother's nest. This fury, and how to call a woman after what happens next, approached the lovers, grabbed her dear by the hair and pulled her off the sergeant. Well, that he managed to do his job. Ponkin's wife, in anger, began to lash the bewildered Novikov on the cheeks, and her daughter, realizing why her mother was angry, let her okhazhivat him with a washcloth.

By that time, having cooled down a bit, the women came to their senses and again began the execution of the soldiers. And they did not resist, quickly left the battlefield.

The captain, who for some reason was informed about the ugliness later than he should, hurried to catch the depravity of his subordinates, but he did not recognize who and in what position. Everyone bathed peacefully, or steamed, and the door was inserted into the box. True, from the head of the bath Ponkin got a beating. After the bath already in the barracks, he called the soldiers to his office, but found nothing out. At the evening check, he deprived the entire company of dismissal for a month. After he invited an ensign, he pressed him to the wall and threateningly asked:

- Well, son of a bitch, confess where you put the flap powder, soldiers in a bowl, or everything in my plate?

The next day, Ponkin drove the welding into the bath and replaced the door with an iron one. The captain in this case was transferred to another garrison. It can be assumed that in another division, he added a new story about the bathhouse to the old stories.