She did not understand why they pity her, although she was used to it from birth. Her world was no worse than the other, about which she knew by hearsay. Her world was smells, sounds, touches. They told her a lot. Sometimes they shouted at her, and then she covered her ears. And her world had dreams - strange, which no one sees in the world. The blood she heard in herself carried someone's memory, images seen by others, distant and close ones who had lived before.

All day she fought with her home. Not a single object obeyed her - pans fell, the chairs put up legs, the window always crawled off to the side and hid, as if she did not want to open in front of her. The scratch dolls familiar to the last climbed under the bed and did not want to play with her, so stupid.

But she was stubborn - and everything eventually fell into place. From the pan came the smell of food, the chair, comfortably smelling of old rags, turned out to be where it should be, and the window, behind which there was the Big World, openly pleaded, frightened by a strong fist. Bored dolls shouted "Mom!" And allowed to comb their hard, wire braids.

Then evening came, and mother came.

They talked about mother's troubles, that no one understood her at work, that there was only a little money left to save for Operation. And about many other things. Then she went to bed and her mother read wonderful tales to her. Then her mother kissed her dry lips, bitter from tobacco and smelling of wine. Then the house calmed down, my mother left for a visit, and only the stairs squeaked rheumatically, remembering her youth.

And then came the Beast.

The first time she was terribly scared of him. Especially when I realized that she did not dream it, but really was standing next to the bed. She asked him: "Do not kill me, ok ..." It laughed and did not kill her.

He smelled of beast. She knew that smell. When he and his mom went to the zoo, it smelled like a cage with tigers. This strong, sharp smell hit her in the memory. She then touched the bars of the cage and understood why people are afraid of such smells.

It crouched on the edge of her bed and laid her hand on Her cheek. And she was surprised that the monster had just such a hand that dad should have - soft, strong and very warm. She, surprised at herself, covered her hand and kissed it. The hand had a strong smell, but this did not seem unpleasant to Her. She kissed this terrible and kind hand right in the palm. And the hand, taken so hospitably, went to roam her body. Wherever she went - the body responded with a small creep of creeps, and after a minute She understood that it was - Terribly Pleasant Goosebumps, and She absolutely did not want them to disperse to their destination and never return. Then the goosebumps accumulated so much that she laughed happily and asked the Monster to wait for the goosebumps to crush each other.

Instead of answering, it sprang out and silently jumped out the window. She knew then what it means to be “silently,” and was glad that she had a strong and clever Beast. The next day it came again. She was puffed embarrassed, and she was pleased. She consulted all day with dolls, pans and an armchair, and now She knew what her Monster was afraid of and what she wanted. She took his hand and began to kiss, trying not to look ridiculous and awkward. But, of course, she did not succeed. After all, she kissed the first time in my life.

Then the Monster showed her how to kiss. She accepted his science easily and simply, because she knew now that this was her Most Native Beast, and with him there was no need to be afraid of anything.

His fingers, so big and strong, sat on her skin like a flock of butterflies — light and easy. He was always afraid to hurt her, and sometimes she had to persuade him to do it. Because it was not such a pain, as when you will be pricked with a needle, but a completely different one is quiet and magical, responding under the arches of the body with a warm and tender echo.

It taught her to love and be loved. They spent many nights together. In the morning or at night, when she heard her mother's footsteps, It easily jumped onto the window sill and disappeared, leaving Her the whole day of the sweetest longing for his return.

And once it was a very noisy day. From morning till evening, cars roared outside the window, and sometimes a siren screamed sharply. She wondered why it was so noisy in their old quiet courtyard. Then a shot sounded, and she hid under the bed from fear, praying that the Beast would come and protect her.

But the Beast never came in the afternoon. Instead, his mother unexpectedly came early and said strange words about some kind of killer caught right in the basement of their house. She even poured herself twice as much as usual. To cope with excitement.

And then she poured more. And further. And further...

Because for the first time in my life I saw her blind girl crying. © Mr. Kiss, One Hundred Splinters of One Sense, 1998–1999