Do you think we’re forever? "Anathema", 1996 ... Time goes by our boots with boots, rubbing our souls on the millstones of history. And now, when I hardly pull my body to a cool bed, I struggle with shortness of breath and a sharp pain in chest when my hair is white as snow, and my eyes are covered with a veil of vagueness, now I remember them more and more often, I remember my Women, and the fog is circling my head. Why now, who can know. In these sleepy nights memories, and then the head becomes a stranger, thoughts float like a haze inevitably And you don't want the coming of morning ...

... Do you remember, my dear, my First Woman, when you first met me? Memory is a curse, it disturbs the soul and tears it apart, before and after, then and now ... I remember. I remember when I first saw the Woman in you, not just a man, namely a Woman. And fell in love ... Do you remember how long it was? Even at the institute, the first year of the institute, the practice ... Summer, sunny, hot summer hugged us, cherishing in its arms. We were so young ... Do you remember how young our souls were, the unseen betrayals of loved ones, the bleak days and injustices of life? Or maybe you don’t remember anything at all, your memory has been wiped off by the jaws of worries, exhausted by needles of necessity, and shows you only vague pictures of happy dreams? I feel sorry for you, honey, if you could forget the happiness of youth, if you don’t remember me at all ... But what do you care about a lonely creature throwing out your thoughts on paper? I am not angry with you, I erase the memory with a pencil eraser ...

... You were then in our group, I was with you all day. Worn with a theodolite across the meadows and could admire your feet as many as you like ... Oh, those legs! Tanned, slightly scratched, two tunnels piercing my fantasies at night ... And your tummy. You were in the topic, right? Every day you came to practice in a tops and skirt, revealing your gorgeous legs and amazing tummy ... And I undressed you with your eyes a hundred times ... I tried to look into the seductive shadow under the edge of the topic ... But you were a goddess in my eyes. And you were busy. He curled around you, your old friend, beloved since kindergarten ...

... Why are these memories? Pouring their impotence on clean sheets, maraya their nocturnal emissions of fantasies, trying to accomplish the impossible, delete the best years from life ...

... Do you remember that evening when I first called you? Funny, is not it? I was drunk as a lord, I barely reached the house, sweet Cahors poured from my ears. But you didn't even notice it. You and I chatted nicely for two hours, then I invited you to the cinema. For tomorrow. And he fell asleep right in the chair by the phone, completely forgetting that I called you ...

Do you remember how you came to me at the appointed time, beautifully dressed in a white blouse and a dark blue skirt? You looked at me in surprise, while I frantically tried to recover myself, completely stunned by such happiness - you came to me! And we went to the cinema, and you didn’t believe me that I didn’t remember anything, laughed and thought that I was kidding you ... That evening we stood on the stairs for a long time, do you remember? They just stood silently and looked into each other’s eyes. Do you remember that at that moment you realized that you love me? You put your hands on my shoulders, but I still could not decide to kiss you - how can I kiss the goddess? Do you remember how we stood embracing for a long, long time, just stood, and there was only one thought in your head: “you are with me” ... Do you remember all this? ..

... I don’t know ... I don’t know if I should continue to rape the paper with my memories, throwing out the secret corners of dusty hiding places ... It all lies in the depths of my memory, like ghosts arising during sleepless and hot nights. On nights when I'm alone ...

... You came to me many times. We kissed in doorways, on the street ... Do you remember all this? How delightful it was to hug your elastic body, feeling your buttocks through the thin fabric of the skirt ... We were young, remember? We were young and insane ...

... Do you remember the day when my parents left somewhere for a day, leaving the entire apartment at my disposal ... You came to me ... Do you remember that? We kissed like crazy, we were both red ... you hid your eyes, glaring at my lips, as if diving into cold water. We drew the curtains and lowered the blinds, creating a man-made shadow in the madness of the summer heat, melting from kisses and desires ... Our lips did not break away from each other, our hands slid over our bodies, feeling and feeling everything through the fabric of clothes ... I looked up from your lips then, for a few seconds, and saw your eyes ... In the floating haze of twilight, filled with love and passion, they glittered like little stars ... Do you remember that? As my lips slid along your neck, shoulders, shifting the thin fabric of a blouse, lingered on the collarbone ... They were trying to go there, to the forbidden ... Hot and dry lips ... They were hot and dry, I remember, I even now automatically lick them in the twilight of sleep, when is that day ...

... My hands stroked your breasts, feeling your tight nipples through the fabric, they caressed your breasts, they stroked and squeezed them ... Do you remember your feelings at that moment? When you gently pushed me and unbuttoned her blouse? I took it off you. Do you remember that? Your eyes were closed, your face was burning, your breathing was interrupted. You shook your shoulders, dropping the cloth on the bed and pressed your lips to my lips again ... Oh, no one ever kissed me so madly and sweetly ... Your skin slid under my palms, and nipple tubercles pierced my shirt ... Our tongues woven in agony ... Do you remember all this? ...

... On hot nights of solitude, I tear a pillow through my teeth, when half-forgotten sensations return to my impotent body, tearing at the soul ... When helpless flesh is unable to answer a memory call and can only cry into the pillow ...

... You took off my shirt without undoing all the buttons. You pressed your breasts to my chest, wrapped my arms around my neck, and your nipples, like brown balls, hard, slid on my skin. Our lips did not break in kisses, our bodies burned in the twilight of the curtains drawn ... You are happy if you can not remember this. You're unhappy if you forget this ...

... My lips slid over your chest, not shivering from the cold, because it was hot in the room, do you remember? Filled with desire to twilight, he hid and emphasized at the same time, we were burning with love that day ... My hands pulled off your skirt, weightless cobwebs smoothing over your buttocks and thighs, my lips caressed your nipples, pulling them ... My tongue wrapped around your breasts , your skin ... And my body felt your palms, warm-hot, burning touch of your palms. Your eyes glittered with stars in the twilight of feelings ... And your body lay in front of me, promising and beckoning with the tan gold of a summer tan ...

... In the stifling dreams of memory, nightmares of the past torment me, flooding with an impracticable passion of burning kisses ... The flesh is powerless, dying in the dusk of consciousness, she cries into a pillow and grinds her teeth ... Do you remember me? ...

... You yourself took off your panties, you didn’t trust me in such a subtle intimate detail, and you were right, after all, to caress the goddess is already supernatural for a mere mortal. My heart flew out of my chest when a magic triangle appeared from under a thin white strip that appeared before me in the most shamelessly feverish dreams ... Your body was waiting, it beckoned and exhausted from the desire ... You stretched your arms to me , your parched lips whispered something to me, indistinctly, incoherently ... And I, naked but not ashamed of my nakedness, stood before you while you admired me, while your eyes caressed every bend of my body, from long hair on head to the inflexible hardness of youthful young flesh ... And so be shame I stroked you with my eyes, trying to cover everything at once, bending arms, waist fineness, softness ...